okee dokee
all better now-
thanks to the lord
and some self-talk
and realization/acceptance
that i have no control over the situation.
whew!
i also went down to cabrillo national monument after work today to watch the sun begin to set over the ocean-so peaceful and brought me back down to earth/reminded me of the bigger picture. there were some surfers who were catching great waves down there, too.
matt and i are getting ready for our las vegas thanksgiving!!!
a much needed vacation for the workaholics we have been lately.
matt's boss let everyone off at noon today!!! i'm so jealous!
but now i'm home and we are getting pumped up!
list of things to do while in vegas/vicinity:
1. go hiking in red rock canyon
2. hoover dam
3. see a pirate show at "treasure island"
4. ride the roller coaster on top of the stratosphere
5. pig out at a yummy thanksgiving buffet
6. pig out in our room with our own food
7. relax by the pool
8. check out some of the casinos
9. go to medival times!
10. read some of my new books...
oh yeah, it was a big day for me today,
as i have a new, official, san diego public library card.
yes, it is true excitement over here.
HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYONE!!!
tracey
Tuesday, November 26, 2002
what a weird day i had today.
long story short:
i had a 3 and a half hour meeting with a team of "professionals" (although with some of the behavior i witnessed today, i would not classify them as professional) and a parent about a child who is emotionally disturbed; including episodes of psychosis, delusions, and self-mutilating behaviors. it was so tense and so awkward and so emotionally draining that my stomach was literally in a hard knot for the entire meeting and remains to be so even now at 8:00 pm. i can not believe the words that were exchanged or the level of volume at which those words were exchanged. and it was all because the school is fighting to NOT give this seriously disturbed child the services he needs!!!
i know that God has a plan for the compassion He has given me
but i grieve so deeply and feel so much pain in the process.
at least i waited until i got home before i cried.
i've never longed for heaven more.
messiah
i know you are near
within without me
hold me near
messiah
i know you are near
catching me carrying
this beautiful mess
escape the pain
within a room somewhere
escape the pain
so deep inside
there's all i have-nothing
no mountain to find
-sixpence
is there some way
i could separate this feeling
from memory
disconnect myself from it?
is there some where
to occupy emotions
a room to keep
my rage away from you?
just tell me when
these hopeless days are over
then i'll open my eyes
see my new self rise
-sixpence
tracey
long story short:
i had a 3 and a half hour meeting with a team of "professionals" (although with some of the behavior i witnessed today, i would not classify them as professional) and a parent about a child who is emotionally disturbed; including episodes of psychosis, delusions, and self-mutilating behaviors. it was so tense and so awkward and so emotionally draining that my stomach was literally in a hard knot for the entire meeting and remains to be so even now at 8:00 pm. i can not believe the words that were exchanged or the level of volume at which those words were exchanged. and it was all because the school is fighting to NOT give this seriously disturbed child the services he needs!!!
i know that God has a plan for the compassion He has given me
but i grieve so deeply and feel so much pain in the process.
at least i waited until i got home before i cried.
i've never longed for heaven more.
messiah
i know you are near
within without me
hold me near
messiah
i know you are near
catching me carrying
this beautiful mess
escape the pain
within a room somewhere
escape the pain
so deep inside
there's all i have-nothing
no mountain to find
-sixpence
is there some way
i could separate this feeling
from memory
disconnect myself from it?
is there some where
to occupy emotions
a room to keep
my rage away from you?
just tell me when
these hopeless days are over
then i'll open my eyes
see my new self rise
-sixpence
tracey