hello everyone.
it's saturday again.
i had an all day conference today and yesterday (and it was so nice outside i was so fidgety!)
matt and i are really into this band called ambulance ltd (check out their music here: http://www.ambulancenyc.com/) the clips are really short, unfortunately, and you have to click exactly on the 56k part. they're going to be in san diego either may 7th or 11th, and we're in!!!
we just had a perfect night.
we took a picnic (roast beef sandwich, hard boiled eggs, bread and gouda cheese, strawberries, and soybeans) to sunset cliffs and talked and laughed for so long. matt said, "we're on the edge of the earth" and i loved it. because we were on the edge of a cliff and it felt so great to picture a map of the us and think of us on the very end of the country.
"we're at the top of the world
here tonight
we gotta lot of time
and it sure feels right"
--juliana theory
that's all for now
have a great sunday everyone.
Thursday, April 29, 2004
hello everyone.
it's thursday but it feels like friday since i have a conference tomorrow and will not be attending school.
i feel sort of weird, though. extra tired, fake sore throat on the right side only, and slightly nauseous.
i haven't called off sick even once this year and i don't plan to do it during these last 6 weeks of school.
oops, that is, except for when mary comes into town and i decide to go camping with her in encinitas and
find that i just can't make it in to work that morning....
not feeling guilty at all, either.
i think probably my biggest pet peeve is someone who acts like they work so much harder than i do and assume that my job is easy just because i'm not complaining. (it's always people who complain about how busy they are, how hard they work, etc.) i've had a couple of comments come my way in the past few weeks, so i've been really bothered by this lately. it was really weighing on me and in my head i kept thinking of everything i do everyday, ticking off each event and getting more and more upset as i tried to justify myself in my head in imaginary conversations. so ridiculous! the enemy knows exactly how to get us to feel bad about ourselves...
but, so perfectly, i had a time of refreshing in the most unexpected venue...
remember that fun hiking class i went to last saturday?
well, the teacher was a totally cool lady who obviously had a great style of teaching (taking people outside to teach actual history/outdoor education) and was explaining her philosophy on teaching teachers. "you have one of the hardest jobs in the world and most people have no idea how much of yourselves you put into it, etc etc etc." which was nice to hear for once.
i know, i have a perfect school schedule and lots of time off, which i focus on. but i do put so much of myself into what i do, every day. i'm always "on", always performing, always thinking of how i can be more effective, always managing behavior without showing frustration... it can be exhausting. but even now that sounds like complaining, which i never want to do.
because i love what i do.
because i'm fulfilling God's will in my life.
because i'm using my gifts and being obedient.
because i normally don't desire affirmation from a person.
so strangely enough, at this outdoor education class that i was taking for credit, i received the refreshing that i had been needing.
just a reminder from the Lord that he knows what i do, he knows what i'm feeling, and now get on with it!
and back to the easy yoke of giving and flowing in my gifts of teaching and compassion and mercy---and not focusing on myself.
(and ignoring the weirdness of others who want to make me feel bad for being relaxed and confident).
at the end of the class the lady read, "thoughts of the dying person", which is why i'm taking a day off to be with mare.
one of the thoughts was, "i would play hookey more and worry about work less."
so that's what i'm doing! guilt-free, too!
and looking forward to a great night with a great campfire, hot dogs, wyder's pear cider, s'mores or chocolate eclairs, snow patrol, ocean, stars, and palm tree sky...
since justin's blog about the sad news at BGHS, i've just been thinking about how the enemy tries to stop us from fulfilling the will of God in our lives, but the holy spirit is so powerful in us that it is nearly impossible--as long as we are listening and being obedient. justin, you've had to struggle with your health and pain in your physical body in these past few years more than most people will ever have to deal with in their lifetimes. and you could have easily been selfish or full of self-pity and stayed in PA when you received the call. but you were obedient and put others above yourself (during maybe one of the most difficult times of your life) and were a broken vessel, out of which flowed the life of God.
i always think of this song "run" by snow patrol as if God were singing it over us:
light up
light up
as if you have a choice
even if you cannot hear my voice
i'll be right beside you dear
sorry for the emo blog
God's just dealing with me on some things right now
good night.
it's thursday but it feels like friday since i have a conference tomorrow and will not be attending school.
i feel sort of weird, though. extra tired, fake sore throat on the right side only, and slightly nauseous.
i haven't called off sick even once this year and i don't plan to do it during these last 6 weeks of school.
oops, that is, except for when mary comes into town and i decide to go camping with her in encinitas and
find that i just can't make it in to work that morning....
not feeling guilty at all, either.
i think probably my biggest pet peeve is someone who acts like they work so much harder than i do and assume that my job is easy just because i'm not complaining. (it's always people who complain about how busy they are, how hard they work, etc.) i've had a couple of comments come my way in the past few weeks, so i've been really bothered by this lately. it was really weighing on me and in my head i kept thinking of everything i do everyday, ticking off each event and getting more and more upset as i tried to justify myself in my head in imaginary conversations. so ridiculous! the enemy knows exactly how to get us to feel bad about ourselves...
but, so perfectly, i had a time of refreshing in the most unexpected venue...
remember that fun hiking class i went to last saturday?
well, the teacher was a totally cool lady who obviously had a great style of teaching (taking people outside to teach actual history/outdoor education) and was explaining her philosophy on teaching teachers. "you have one of the hardest jobs in the world and most people have no idea how much of yourselves you put into it, etc etc etc." which was nice to hear for once.
i know, i have a perfect school schedule and lots of time off, which i focus on. but i do put so much of myself into what i do, every day. i'm always "on", always performing, always thinking of how i can be more effective, always managing behavior without showing frustration... it can be exhausting. but even now that sounds like complaining, which i never want to do.
because i love what i do.
because i'm fulfilling God's will in my life.
because i'm using my gifts and being obedient.
because i normally don't desire affirmation from a person.
so strangely enough, at this outdoor education class that i was taking for credit, i received the refreshing that i had been needing.
just a reminder from the Lord that he knows what i do, he knows what i'm feeling, and now get on with it!
and back to the easy yoke of giving and flowing in my gifts of teaching and compassion and mercy---and not focusing on myself.
(and ignoring the weirdness of others who want to make me feel bad for being relaxed and confident).
at the end of the class the lady read, "thoughts of the dying person", which is why i'm taking a day off to be with mare.
one of the thoughts was, "i would play hookey more and worry about work less."
so that's what i'm doing! guilt-free, too!
and looking forward to a great night with a great campfire, hot dogs, wyder's pear cider, s'mores or chocolate eclairs, snow patrol, ocean, stars, and palm tree sky...
since justin's blog about the sad news at BGHS, i've just been thinking about how the enemy tries to stop us from fulfilling the will of God in our lives, but the holy spirit is so powerful in us that it is nearly impossible--as long as we are listening and being obedient. justin, you've had to struggle with your health and pain in your physical body in these past few years more than most people will ever have to deal with in their lifetimes. and you could have easily been selfish or full of self-pity and stayed in PA when you received the call. but you were obedient and put others above yourself (during maybe one of the most difficult times of your life) and were a broken vessel, out of which flowed the life of God.
i always think of this song "run" by snow patrol as if God were singing it over us:
light up
light up
as if you have a choice
even if you cannot hear my voice
i'll be right beside you dear
sorry for the emo blog
God's just dealing with me on some things right now
good night.
Sunday, April 25, 2004
finally a blog.
first of all, happy birthday to casey!!! yes! now you're as old as me!
welp, lots of things to catch up on here...
last weekend in cleveland was so great! on friday my plane arrived and mom/dad/ryan picked me up and took me back to the hotel where a sleeping michelle and sleeping hannah baby were. then they woke up and i held that sleepyhead girl and kissed her on the head. then i held hannah. ha! anyways, she's so cute and sweet, especially when we put her on the big bed and she just sat there by herself, flapping her arms around.
the wedding was nice (except for the screaming child whose parents refused to remove him from the sanctuary) and graig and melissa were so happy. we all missed mary henry. but like matt reminded me when i got home, we'll have forever with her in heaven someday. our family had so much fun at the reception with yummy food, drinks, and fun dancing. i think the highlight was when dad did milli-vanilli-type chest slams with graig during the song "jump around". i'm still laughing thinking about it.
it was so good to see the good family--i miss you guys already! but i'll see you in a month and a half!
when i came home, matt had sweet surprise waiting for me--a new ipod, with an armband that i can wear when i run.
and a perfect extra gift--he loaded up all 15Gs for me with the music that i love! (yet another example of the little effort i am required to put forth for fantastic music!). speaking of which, snow patrol may 8th!!! and then lassie foundation (or is lassie foundation first? i can't remember...) yay!!
oh, and also, the shins are playing in san diego june 5th, mary, if you want to come down a day early...
we will be there for sure!
on tuesday this past week i came home from a run, feeling great, and matt wasn't home. so i got in the shower and by the time i was out, matt was running down the steps saying, "i'm taking you on a date!" yay! and then he took me to ocean beach and we had a campfire and grilled hot dogs and just sat there chatting and listening to snow patrol on the ipod speakers. we watched the sun set over the ocean and then came home and hopped in the hot tub--ahhh.... so fun to have a date randomly in the middle of the week. and even more fun that it was a beach campfire!!!
last night we had a martini party here at our house. we had all different flavors of martinis to choose from (blue raspberry, bikini--pineapple/coconut, chocolate, grapetini, watermelon, sour apple, lemon, vanilla sunrise, etc...) and yummy food and good friends. people didn't leave until 3:00 am. of course i had fallen asleep on our living room floor by then. come on now! i'm not a college student anymore. i was impressed that our "older" friends (and realtor), dan and deb, made it until 12:30. when they left, i was ready for bed but felt that i needed to be sociable, as i was one of the hosts!
justin, to respond to an earlier post: i wasn't actually kidding about all things bright and beautiful--and then i said the same thing to matt and he told me it was the luxury guy--ha!!! are there any more songs (besides the 3 songs you sent us?) you should check out camera obscura--girl singer with sort of a sweet voice, acoustic guitar, mild drums and piano. and i was sad (yet i laughed at parts) to read your most recent blog about your health issues. know that i pray for you always.
there was a thick fog when i woke up this morning at 7:00, but now it's completely sunny! another beach day for us! well, whenever matt gets up that is.
what a beautiful piece of heartache this has all turned out to be...
-over the rhine
first of all, happy birthday to casey!!! yes! now you're as old as me!
welp, lots of things to catch up on here...
last weekend in cleveland was so great! on friday my plane arrived and mom/dad/ryan picked me up and took me back to the hotel where a sleeping michelle and sleeping hannah baby were. then they woke up and i held that sleepyhead girl and kissed her on the head. then i held hannah. ha! anyways, she's so cute and sweet, especially when we put her on the big bed and she just sat there by herself, flapping her arms around.
the wedding was nice (except for the screaming child whose parents refused to remove him from the sanctuary) and graig and melissa were so happy. we all missed mary henry. but like matt reminded me when i got home, we'll have forever with her in heaven someday. our family had so much fun at the reception with yummy food, drinks, and fun dancing. i think the highlight was when dad did milli-vanilli-type chest slams with graig during the song "jump around". i'm still laughing thinking about it.
it was so good to see the good family--i miss you guys already! but i'll see you in a month and a half!
when i came home, matt had sweet surprise waiting for me--a new ipod, with an armband that i can wear when i run.
and a perfect extra gift--he loaded up all 15Gs for me with the music that i love! (yet another example of the little effort i am required to put forth for fantastic music!). speaking of which, snow patrol may 8th!!! and then lassie foundation (or is lassie foundation first? i can't remember...) yay!!
oh, and also, the shins are playing in san diego june 5th, mary, if you want to come down a day early...
we will be there for sure!
on tuesday this past week i came home from a run, feeling great, and matt wasn't home. so i got in the shower and by the time i was out, matt was running down the steps saying, "i'm taking you on a date!" yay! and then he took me to ocean beach and we had a campfire and grilled hot dogs and just sat there chatting and listening to snow patrol on the ipod speakers. we watched the sun set over the ocean and then came home and hopped in the hot tub--ahhh.... so fun to have a date randomly in the middle of the week. and even more fun that it was a beach campfire!!!
last night we had a martini party here at our house. we had all different flavors of martinis to choose from (blue raspberry, bikini--pineapple/coconut, chocolate, grapetini, watermelon, sour apple, lemon, vanilla sunrise, etc...) and yummy food and good friends. people didn't leave until 3:00 am. of course i had fallen asleep on our living room floor by then. come on now! i'm not a college student anymore. i was impressed that our "older" friends (and realtor), dan and deb, made it until 12:30. when they left, i was ready for bed but felt that i needed to be sociable, as i was one of the hosts!
justin, to respond to an earlier post: i wasn't actually kidding about all things bright and beautiful--and then i said the same thing to matt and he told me it was the luxury guy--ha!!! are there any more songs (besides the 3 songs you sent us?) you should check out camera obscura--girl singer with sort of a sweet voice, acoustic guitar, mild drums and piano. and i was sad (yet i laughed at parts) to read your most recent blog about your health issues. know that i pray for you always.
there was a thick fog when i woke up this morning at 7:00, but now it's completely sunny! another beach day for us! well, whenever matt gets up that is.
what a beautiful piece of heartache this has all turned out to be...
-over the rhine